Tough Love

Friday was ... TOUGH.

There was a knot in my stomach roughly the size of Texas. I knew it. I knew I was being lied to. I finished my shift with jetBlue and called my sweet Hubby. "Hon, I've got to bust her today. How should I do it?" This is never a good way to start a conversation, but it was unavoidable. I was seing red and was risking a full-fledged transformation into Psycho-Mom.

My sweet little new-driver's-license-holding-thinks-she's-so-much-smarter-than-mom of a daughter tried to pull the wool way, WAY down over my oh-so-wise-x-ray-vision-mother eyes and I just couldn't pretend to be that dumb, not for anyone. I've been trying really hard the last couple of weeks to - to loosen my grip a little and give her more freedom. She's sixteen after all and if I'm supposed to be able to let go, so to speak, when she's 18 and graduated ... it's reasonable to bend a little more here and there right now.

HOWEVER ... in light of all my recent efforts to give her those little, and sometimes not so little, bits of extra freedom, it hurt that much more when she took advantage in every way possible.

She really hurt me.

She broke my heart.

And now, I'm tagged the meanest mom on the block ... for what? For calling her on her lies? For expecting her to be where she says with whom she told me, obeying the very clearly stated driving restrictions quoted to us by very creepy man at DMV 4 times in the last 2 months?

Yeah. I know. I have huge expectations, don't I?

The Rule Book

I'm sure this picture was taken just a few weeks ago. I'm sure that this little girl is only about 5 years old and is sweet and funny and just wants to pal around with me all day long making crafts and painting pictures. Where have the last 10 years gone? How is it that now dear Hubby and I have to come up with some kind of rule system regarding how much time she is spending with senior boys and where she is and isn't allowed to go with her best friend who just got her driver's license? She can't hang out with boys who look like this! No way! Look at her. She's just too little. Too young. Too ... my little girl. You know it's funny, when my kids were younger and I was single, I sat them down one day and we had a long talk about how each child is different and none of them come with their own instruction manual. I wanted them to realize that just as I was figuring out all the in's and out's of whatever stage they were in at the moment ... that in almost that same moment they were moving on to a new, unexplored stage and I had to start the figuring all over again. Sometimes it feels like parenting is just that - writing the rule book over and over again. I just love the fact that Hubby and I are always on the same page, so much that I can actually phrase questions to him like, "How do we feel about this?" without us both cracking up.

For the moment, we're trying to be reasonable and responsible. I think that's fair to all the kids. What are the hardest things for you to make clear-cut rules about?